Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Conversations with Mr. Trainer: He better be glad he's more than a pretty face

Soooo…….this happened.

You all remember the Red Shirt Basketball Guy, right???

Mr. Trainer is incredibly private with those that he doesn't know.  However, we share stories about our personal lives all the time.  The good - bad - funny.  We each know the 'characters' in our families but don't really know the names or much else.  He tells me loads – but doesn’t advertise it….and detests the fact that I talk about my issues publicly.  Quite simply – he just pretends I don’t ever write anything.  We’re comfortable in this illusion.  For now, at least.  (Because lets be honest…..I just can’t keep my trap shut.)

Tonight while exorcising my demons with Mr. Trainer, we ended up on an arm machine.  While making strange contorted faces praying desperately for rep 15 to come faster I realized…..with immense horror…..that ‘Red Shirt Basketball Guy’ was on the machine next to me.

Red Shirt Basketball Guy to Mr. Trainer:  “So, what’s mom cooking tonight?  I need a good meal.”

Mr. Trainer:  “How do I know, punk?  I’m an actual man that can take care of himself.”

Red Shirt Basketball Guy: “Psssshhhh.  Whatever.  I was just asking if mom was gonna be home.”

Me:  (Alarm bells start vaguely ringing in my head.)

Mr. Trainer:  “I dunno – you can call or just show up – so she’ll coddle you and pretend that you’re her favorite….because we all know I’m the shining win of the three.”

Red Shirt Basketball Guy:  “Oh…..(something that made me blush and embarrasses me to write…..)

So Red Shirt Basketball Guy stalks off….

I look at Mr. Trainer….horror still in my eyes……: “Is that????”  I just can’t even get the words out.

Mr. Trainer:  Sheepishly says…..”Oh yeah….have I not mentioned he’s my brother?”

Me:  “O.M.G.  I hate you so much right now.”

Mr. Trainer:  “What???  I told you I know him.”

And the kicker??  I've actually been properly introduced to his other brother.....why I have not been properly introduced to this one is beyond me.....and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need that explanation for part of a defense.

Mr. Trainer is now buried in some far off place it will take decades to find.  And I’m not even concerned about the consequences because I will for sure die of embarrassment tonight.


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