Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Conversations with Mr. Trainer: He apparently thinks he's paid to play Matchmaker

So, I know that because of my posts most of you think that every session is all empowering and encouraging and stuff.  There are those….but, really the ones that get me through are the funny and normal conversations that happen.

Tonight, I happened to take the elevator up to the gym with a guy that I recognized comes to the gym regularly and the Front Desk guy, Jason.  Jason and I talk from time to time and he’s a very likeable, easy going guy so we proceeded to talk in the elevator.

Then the other guy said a few things to me that I honestly don’t really remembered.  I smiled, said a few benign things back and then proceeded to check things on my phone and carry on a short convo with Jason.
 So, we get off the elevator.  Regular gym guy proceeds ahead and I hear this from Jason:

Jason:  “So are you always a snob or is this just that kind of a day?”

Me:  “Huh?”

Jason:  “He was clearly trying to flirt with you and you acted like you were just too busy to notice.”

Me:  “ What?? He was NOT.  Really.  He was just making conversation in an elevator.”

Jason:  “ Ok, so you’re clueless then.  Good thing I like you.”

So then, I began my thrice weekly training session with Mr. Trainer and about halfway through while I’m doing some weird contortion on a mat….enter Jason.

Jason to Mr. Trainer:  “Your girl here was being hit on in the elevator earlier with the red shirt basketball guy and stuck up her nose at him.”

Mr. Trainer (while looking over at the basketball court):  “Him?  Really?  Mofabulous….were you being snooty?”

Me:  “ I WAS NOT.  And He was NOT flirting.”

Jason:  “Yep.  He was.  He even tried to make a joke.  Not a good one, but an ‘A’ for effort.”

Mr. Trainer:  “ Well, I’ll bring her back to reality.”  Jason then goes on his way.

Mr. Trainer:  “ You know, you’re not a snob.  Why were you being one?”

Me:  “ FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY.  He was NOT flirting.  He was just being nice.”

Mr. Trainer:  “Nope, if another guy picks up on it he definitely was.  You really didn’t notice?”

Me: “No, I just don’t ever assume that.  I’m used to being the ‘We Gotta Go Girl’  It’s what I know.”

Mr. Trainer:  “Huh?”

Me: “The ‘We Gotta Go Girl’.  You know, the sidekick of the really cute friend – and I have A LOT of them -  that gets hit on all the time.  The guy knows if he doesn’t keep the sidekick happy by conversation or drinks, he’s gonna lose his prospect because when the ‘We Gotta Go Girl’ says it’s time to go…..then they go.”

Mr. Trainer:  “Ok, I’ll give you that.  It IS a thing.  But, you’re telling me you don’t even know when someone is actually zeroed in on you?”

Me: “Nope.  It’s a rare thing, so I’m pretty much clueless on it.  ESPECIALLY 60 pounds ago.  I need a sign or something that spells it out.”

Mr. Trainer: “Ok.  I’ve decided I’m going to set you up with basketball guy, or someone else here.”

Me: “Oh no you will NOT!  I hate dating.  It’s too much like a job interview.  And everyone here is way too pretty.”

Mr. Trainer: “Pretty?”

Me: “Yes, Pretty.  I’m surrounded by beautiful men that most of them I have come to adore, but you’re all a little pretty to me.  And you KNOW how much of a klutz and awkward I am when I’m not nervous.  
Imagine how I am when I’m supposed to put on some kind of a date show and try to be normal.  I’ve been there.  So.Not.Cool.”

Mr. Trainer: “But it would be good for you!  You’re fun…..and funny…..and live an interesting life.  And you can be seriously cute even when you’re all frustrating and being ridiculous.”

Me: (While looking at him like he has 3 heads) “ First, I’ll say, I really wish I had the hots for you and didn’t love your girlfriend so much.  GOD, some people have all the luck.  Second….no.  I’m not looking for that drama.  I’ve got too much crazy just with me right now, I don’t need to add that.”

Mr. Trainer:  “Whatever.  I’ve now made it my personal mission to send you on a date and make you dread every second.  You need it.  Life is not the tidy scene you like to make it seem.”

Me:  “Just. STOP.”

Lord help me.  Seriously.  Because when that man gets an idea in his head – he doesn’t even think about the wrath that will come from it.  Have they created a wine delivery service yet?  Because, I’d do a million Burpees just to enjoy it.

And I will say, this is just one of the MANY things that come with this journey.  When you begin to feel strong and start to get a smidgen of your confidence back.  Things happen and people (guys) start to notice.  And it's weird.  And I'm trying to figure it out little by little.  Again.....Lord help me.  Seriously.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have the same problem. Awkward convo alert...cue the phone!